Resolutions for the sexual revolutionists.

New year resolutions, okay, okay, it maybe the 6th January, but just like a well earnt orgasm, better late than never. 


We often skip sex resolutions when repenting our sins from the previous year. But, my lovers, my sweet sexual revolutionists, 2019 is your year, it is the year of GREAT sex. Think sheet soaking, soul shaking, mind blowing GREAT sex. Now is the time….


Go on, live a little.

I urge you to let your hair down – no, I don’t mean eat dessert because “you only live once” kinda let your hair down. I mean experiment with things in the bedroom that you’ve always wanted to try. Make a resolution to tick things off your bedroom bucket list. Have you always wanted to try anal play? A prostate massage or toys perhaps? Sex outdoors or in the back seat of a 1970s convertible Porsche? Has your favorite show-real inspired a real-time role-play? Experimenting doesn’t necessarily have to mean wild and adventurous, there are many avenues of sexual exploration and sensual expression that can still be creative and just as fulfilling. Kinky sex can be fun, but reconnecting with the act of sex itself is also cool. Whatever is on your list…do yourself the honor, and experience it this year.

Ps. If you have a 1970s convertible Porsche, please book me – we need to hang out. 


Hello, trusted friend.

I’ve not always been a toy accompanied playmate, when it comes to self-pleasuring I never considered the need for them - I’m adept with my left hand and an expert with my right.  But earlier on last year a client bought me a miniature womanizer: a pocket size, chargeable ball of travel friendly fun. A few months later, he bought me a larger size – turns out I was able to churn through the miniatures charge time as swiftly as you can say: “sex fiend.” The moral of the story? Some toys you won’t know if you’ll like, until you try. Since then I’ve purchased a sex swing, various objects in the shape of phallic fruit and animals (thankyou bunny) and a never-ending supply of triple-A batteries. The year of 2019 for me, is about embarking on adventures with some new tried and tested toys, care to join me on my quest, brave knight?


Be confident

In my professional opinion, in the bedroom, skills can be taught, but confidence is innate. If you are sexually shy, 2019 is your year to rebel. We all have a prowling sexual god or goddess within, wallowing dormant until the opportune moment when the light is dimmed and the mood is roused (or subsequent alcoholic lubricant has been applied to the personality). Make your new year resolution this year to channel that beast within, find a perfect bedroom partner and let your sexual assurance shine.


Learn cool stuff

Who knew education was sexy? In the mine-field that is sexy-time, nothing says “I’m ready to please,” more than a diploma in the downstairs department. Make 2019 your year to get clued up on all things salacious. And no, this doesn’t mean watching Porn is “homework” (oh, you’re a naughty boy!) (Remember that porn is not real sex with real reactions). Take some time out to watch educational videos and read blogs from cool sex influencers online, take a cunnilingus course, see a sex therapist or buy a brilliant sex education book, and remember the best experience is in the ahhem, “trenches” so to speak…so hire an escort to practise your new found skills and also teach you stuff you don’t already know, and remember to teach her new funky tricks too – sharing is caring!


Have a brilliantly sexy and goal orientated year, my Lovers,




Harper Jones