Get To Know Harper

I’m often asked whether I’ll be real in a booking, or who I really amIn an industry of toeyness, it’s hard to tiptoe the fine line between oversharing and simply not sharing enough, so with your hunger to know Harper more, ahem…intimately, well and truly brooding, I’ve compiled a blog to help you get to know me and what makes my mind decent and my loins loose. 

So, settle in for a rather self-indulgent self-analysis of the Harper Jones.

I’m cultured and educated.

But don’t let that fool you my friend, before you conjure up an image of me clad in my feather robe with my limbs draped strategically across a slightly worn chesterfield, listening to Beethoven’s Symphony Nos1 in C major (as brilliant as it is), most probably reading Dante’s Inferno for the 4th time, know that most of the time I’m more than likely binge-watching a crime documentary series on Netflix, in my pajama’s, eating a cheese sandwich. I may be high class, but I’m also highly relatable.

I’m an ambivert.

Neither an introvert nor extrovert. This makes me a perfect companion as I adapt easily and pick up cues swiftly in social environments. I can happily be in a large group but mostly enjoy privacy and seclusion. I’m a pure-bred extrovert in small encounters (1, or possibly 2 people) but yet in very large groups I become introverted, and public speaking? No chance. I thrive on one-on-one deep and meaningfull conversations and dislike small talk about the weather with large groups of strangers. I spend a lot of time on my own but after too long I crave interaction with others.

I’m a (reborn) hopeless romantic. 

I never cared too much for cheesy romance, it wasn’t my style, but I’ve changed over the years. I’ve realized that without romance in this world, we are numb. Nowadays, I love a good swooning; an affair of the heart lead by heavily romanticized theatricals – strawberries and Frank Sinatra by candlelight? Sign me up!

I’m a strong-minded woman, with a submissive side.

I can hold my own if you want to debate modern-day sexism, misogyny and patriarchy, sexual autonomy, female oppression, gender equality, and sex worker rights, however, in bed I like a firm male hand wrapped gently around my throat. 

I dislike museums and musicals.

Please don’t take me to a museum, ever. I hate museums and musicals…oh and the ballet. However, I do adore art galleries and the opera - I'm also highly contradictive. 

I’m funny.

…and modest.

I’m a geek who is obsessed with comma placement, especially my favorite, the Oxford comma.

I want to eat Harper. 

I want to eat, Harper. 

A slight shift in punctuation can determine exactly what we do on our date together.

I’m a fan of cheesy pick-up lines.

Do you comma here often?

I’m an authentic over-sharer.

Some call it over-sharing, I call it the true girlfriend experience. But, I see no need for holding back. When we both let down our guards, the only space left is for a true connection. I’m a real person with real feelings, thoughts, and emotions and I have no qualms in expressing them with my clients.

The things I love...

Laughter, making love, spaghetti bol, romance, doggy style, coffee, my friends, philosophically challenging conversation, and giving oral.

The things I hate...

Self-entitlement, rocket (the leaves, not spaceship), gossip, pineapple on pizza, conventional thinkers, and arrogance.


So, do you feel satiated? or are you left wanting to know more? I now invite you to get to know me more personally, in person.




Harper Jones